For Evil's Sake

"The only thing evil needs to survive is for good men to do nothing."

Negativity and the ability to create and maintain negative emotion
is something unique to humans in the fact that we need little reason
to do it. The smallest and most insignificant things can spin us
into a whole complex and out of control rant that never even comes
close to touching on the real problem. I know because I do it all
the time!
There are places in the human being that are very dark. We don't
like to acknowledge that part of ourselves because it is there we
see our ugliness and we can sometimes see ourselves doing things we
would not normally do.
Humans have not been out of the jungle for very long. We still have
some of those primal instincts and notions and we often celebrate
our basic nature and wanting to destroy ourselves.
We are a very violent and sensitive race of creatures. We allow
things to effect us that have no other such impact on our lives what
so ever outside of our opinions. How another person acts, what they
believe in, the color of their skin, all triggers for the evil
inside to come out and play.
Even those who go around preaching about love and light have that
part of them somewhere inside them. And they can all honestly count
many times when it was unleashed on the world on those we love.
Life is still very hard for most of us, if not all of us. Not always
financially although that is often the first thing that comes to
mind when we think of hardship. Makes me wonder how we were before
the invent of currency.
Sometimes things happen in our lives that throws us out into
nothingness. We loose touch with who and what we really are. Lost in
darkness and despair the one thing that we can count on is the one
thing that has never left us since we took our first steps on this
world. Primal rage.
Our defenses go up and we are ready to fight anything that even
comes close to resembling a threat. The nature of a wounded animal.
Not a sophisticated human.
What we do when we are in those types of situations dictates how our
lives will turn out. We can hide in the corner with an open wound
and attack anything that comes near. We can close the wound and limp
through the rest of our lives in complaint. Or we can find a way to
heal completely and become stronger for it. Antithetical to popular
weak-minded belief we do have the choice.
Pain and negativity flow very easily and both are very hard to get
rid of. One pain leads to another and if the slightest crack is
opened you will explode in a volcano of pain, anger, rage, and
attacks even if the target of those things is completely innocent. A
soul can only hold so much.
When we let go and explode is it our fault? Perhaps not. Pressure is
pressure and it has it's own ways and nature. We are merely the
vessel. Like water freezing in a rock. It is no more the fault of
the water than it is the rock when the rock breaks. It is just
nature.
I have had a lot of negative things happen to me in the past two
years. In all that time I never let it all go. I bottled it up. I
did not complain, I did not act on it. I berried it and thought that
in doing so I was strong. I was completely wrong.
And now I am to the point where the pressure is too much. Every now
and then it finds a place to escape and when it does it shoots out
towards the closest person or obstacle. The odd thing is that I
never vent about my past or problems. I take my pain and negativity
and call other out on theirs. In doing that they are hurt and the
pressure starts to build in them just as it did in me. And this is
where we coin the phrase "misery loves company".
I see it happen as if I am someone else watching me do it. I have
even called myself out on it a time or two and regretted it deeply
when it got the better of me. That does not change it or make it
right. Pain is pain and when we cause someone pain they can't just
forget it no matter what they do. We hope that they forgive us for
what is inside and when we loose control of it. If we are lucky we
find someone who is understanding and knows the very nature of that
pain. They know that it is evil and was not put there by them or for
them. They know that the past sometimes haunts us and sometimes we
just need to vent. They know that we will regret our actions during
this time and will be in regret for it. And they know that no matter
how we act in pain their hearts will not let them just give up.
That is a sure sign of unconditional love. If their heart is close
to you when you act for evil's sake and they want to help you find
your way out of the darkness you have been thrown into.... that is
love.
Every human is born with the same capacity to love and hate, to feel
pain and joy, to succeed and to fall. It is our choices that dictate
which way we will go. It has nothing to do with time, money, place,
family, or ties that bind. Just choice.
I've been fighting and feeling loss all of my life. There are times
when I believe that fighting; loss, and pain are the only things I
really know. I expect them to keep coming as they always have. But
now there seems to be someone in the way.

Angel Snowden -2006